Last time I caught a lung infection, it started 2 months ago when the substandard building I live in leaked gas somehow for a day. Now I live a particularly healthy life whenever possible, but if you have weak lungs, or in my case, a weak lung, any environmental stress can weaken it and make you vulnerable enough to catch an infection. Now that’s usually OK, only in my case, I need a bit ofhelp from the doctor to fight off an infection, since part of my left lung just can’t cough out mucus properly, so it collectsin there and the infection keeps getting worse till I finally get help in the way of eg antibiotics.Since for the past 17years doctors have not really been listening to what I consistently reported, it has been such an uphill struggle getting helpwhen I got a lung infection. So last year I used to go to herbalists who prescribed excellent natural antibiotics and antivirals, and before I found these herbalists, I would go to private doctors and pay more money than I had in order to buy treatment. But I was paying off a particularly large debt this time and could not borrow any money to enable me to buy this.So I tried a Chinese doctor’s remedy, which was not up to scratch, mainly because I omitted to tell him the true nature of my condition, because of fear of being judged by a colleague in self-diagnosing whereby my GP insists I just have “asthma”. With EFT, I now no longer have this fear. Anyway, I so after trying that doc’s concoction, last week I tried the NHS walk-incentres, only to be turned down for one internal reason after another three times. Then I arrived at my own doctor’s. They had changed the rules and patients could no longer be seen as an emergency in the afternoon, so I made an appointment for yestyerday and had to go to the NHS walk-in centre instead. Went there (yet another walk-in centre), the lovely nurse was well-informed, polite and nice and she even said COPD, without any prompting from me, then she said sorry, she couldn’t helpme and I had to wait for the centre’s doctor to arrive in 2 1/2 hours’ time. I was too tired to wait, having had many nightswith only a scattered two hours’ sleep, so I just started crying and explained. She understood and was very nice about it. Iwent downstairs to finish crying where hopefully nobody would see me, went home and tapped, tapping on the train. Felt much calmer. Felt relief that finally a health professional said “COPD”. It is a sign that perhaps I won’t have to work so hard in order to get treatment in the future for those times when I get a lung infection.So anyway, there I was at the doctor’s yesterday. The EFT I have been doing for the trauma suffered over the last 17 years at the hands of the medical profession had made me so calm, I was able to calmly insist that the doctor listen to me, record the reasons why I can’t take steroids(although I knew he wasn’t going to follow through with my request to report it back to the pharmaceutical companies), and understand that if I have been consistently reporting the same symptoms for the last 17 years then maybe it means something. Iexplained that I have been taking way over the top of my salbutamol inhaler and self-medication. He said that wasn’t good for my heart and I should be more responsible. Still calm, I told him “if I don’t I die, and death isn’t exactly good for my heart either, so I do what I can whenever necessary”. He could see that I had every right to be angry and insistent, because Iwas so calm and coherent. So he went over my notes again and saw the chest X ray I had two years ago in 2003. I again calmly explained to him how I take the salbutamol inhaler: on my hands and knees, keep inhaling it, aiming it at that part of my left lung that closes up whilst twisting my body so that the puff from the inhaler has a chance of reaching. I explained that since I didn’t have asthma, I had no need for the inhaler in the upper part of my lungs or in my left lung, so I would take so much salbutamol, my lungs would unnaturally over-expand and I still wouldn’t be able to breathe properly. He looked at the X-rayresults again, from 2 years ago, and simply said “in that case, considering what you have just told me, this chest x ray showsthat you have emphysema” (Funnily enough, he said that this meant tnat I didn’t have COPD because emphysema isn’t part ofCOPD!). Anyway, I was delighted that he took me seriously, and believed me, and: Ta-raaaaaaaaaaaaaa: made a request to thehospital that I get seen for proper tests!!!! For the first time in the 17 years that I have been reporting the same symptoms.2 years after the chest x ray, along with what I had been consistently reporting, showed emphysema.When I left, I phoned Hand when I got to the two years ago bit, I started crying, so here goes:”Even though for the last two years, they had theevidence but I was denied help, because they wouldn’t even believe the x-ray, I deeply love myself, regardless of what abusethe doctors give me, I deeply love myself, regardless of what lies doctors say I have concocted, i deeply and completely lovemyself, regardless of how many doctors think my life is worthless, enough to ignore the emphesyma chest x-ray, the bastards,how dare they, how could they, just because I live a healthy life, just because I try my best, just because I eat well, Iexercise, I do all I can, I self-treat with EFT, Reiki, Seichem, and hypnosis. I deeply love myself, even though they give medeath, I give me life, even though they give me death, I no longer fear death, I have nearly been there so many times, I courtit daily, it’s not my time to go yet, I am here for a reason, I have a task to do and I’m not going till it’s done, andthere’s f-all those bastards can do about it. I am alive and that’s cool, I continue to get as well as I can, continue tohelp mysef and improve, I heal, I channel to myself loving healing, I wish unconditional love to the whole world, love heals,that stupid jumped up little pathetic man, all those idiotic medics, just in it for the ego, the money, how dare theydisbelieve and dismiss my chest x ray results, it’s a picture for f-‘s sake, it’s not the words from a mad woman, it’s apicture, why could you not believe a f-ing picture? it’s a picture, you don’t even believe a picture because it doesn’t fitinto your belief system, how sad that you are so closed, that you are like this, that’s ok too, I choose to heal, I love mychest, my body and my soul, I send you peace, peace to the world, healing to the world, I await my appointment in a few monthstime at the hospital, I know they won’t test on the day, I patiently await being tested, it’s not that important in the grandscheme of things, I already have what I most need from the docs, it’s only a step further, I feel peace, I give that part ofmy lung healing, warm loving healing and true unconditional love, encompassing all, all that there is everywhere.”I tapsilently until the tears stop, I am smiling, it’s over, the worst part is over. I tap for the anxiety of the forthcomingstruggle with the hospital and getting them to believe me, remember that the x ray is a picture, it’s no longer just my word,I keep tapping on these random thoughts and anxieties. I feel calm and peaceful. I can’t turn a monster hospital consultantinto a warm and caring person, but I can be calmly in control. I can’t abolish the big monster NHS but I can help to make achange. if one person’s life and quality of life is saved by one consultant reading this blog, then I have made a change. Ideeply love myself, despite outward hate from the medics, they can’t help it, they are what they are, I choose to be true tomyself. I will no longer be sucked into this hateful, fearful way of life, it is not for me, I choose to be calmly peaceful, Ichoose unconditional love, for all, no matter what.2 years, i tap and smile. it’s just a number of years, number two,that’s all. I smile, and smile some more. good stuff, this tapping 😀